I read this quote by 'unknown' and I absolutely loved it:
“You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.”
I was thinking about how much time we spend as women wanting to be anything but who we are. How much time over the years that women- all women at some point in time - don't feel 'good enough', 'thin enough', pretty 'enough'.....it's a shame. And I spent my twenties in this place and what a complete waste of my time - really. Some women take this deep seeded unworthiness to their graves. And you don't have to. You can make a change today.
Think about the people in your life that are truly stunning. There was this girl that I worked w/ many years ago that was just breathtakingly beautiful. And it was her spirit - energy - heart - inner confidence that made her so. Men's heads turned and so did women's frankly. And I think meeting her was a moment in my life where there was a shift in my thinking about beauty, relationships w/ men & my relationship w/ myself - how I viewed myself. Along w/ being so inspired by her, my dad- growing up -cultivated a sense in me that I was beautiful because of what I was capable of. He taught me that being lost in the moment - having a ball (as he would say) is really what beautiful 'IS' vs. the self conscious girl who would never take chances. So, I risked a lot growing up via adventure, travel, etc. And I am so glad that I did! I have this adventurous streak in me that can get swept away in various cultures, travel and the beauty of the earth.
Anyway, I used to be in medical sales and back to this girl, Katie, that I mentioned. Our district went boating in Ann Arbor, MI. and I remember, while all of the women focused on their makeup, how their bathing suits fit, talked about their weight, wondered if their boyfriend was noticing the thinnest girl on the boat, singles flirted w/ other single district members, etc. She was this imperfect beaut who honestly could careless about her weight (in a way that would affect her self image I mean). She wasn't particularly thin, she didn't stand out in the way society is provoking women to stand out and yet, was so comfortable in her skin - engaging - and present that she drew so much attention. I remember thinking 'I am going to be even more free too'. And when I say 'be free', I mean be free to focus on life vs. how I looked. She made such an impression on me. And ironically, she ended up marrying a male model in New York (I think that's interesting). And that goes to show me that men don't really care about finding the 'perfect' size, they want that girl with the good heart and inner beauty. She relocated there and well, the rest is history. I think last I heard, they have 4 girls and from FB photos, seem quite happy.
Let's chat about men....
Men might care what you look like in the beginning of a relationship meaning your looks might be what attracts them (or even stay a bit longer then they should). They even might be drawn to the most outwardly gorgeous women in the room but, trust me (trust me please) that after awhile, they are more drawn to the inner workings of your heart - who you are - how you treat yourself - how you treat them. Some of the most outwardly (meaning body, face, etc.) gorgeous people are plain ugly inside. So, being jealous, wishing for 'that girl's body' or 'that size' or 'that other face', embrace yourself. And honey, if you are holding hands w/ a man who is lusting after someone else - who has a 'wandering eye' - etc., this is not the man that The Lord has in store for you. Slip on your confidence and make yourself available for someone who will appreciate you.
It all starts with self love. It really truly does. You cannot achieve any aspect of wellness - TRUE wellness - if you don't adore yourself. You can't.
For me, it wasn't until I was in my late thirties that I gave my life to Christ. And when I did, I realized that my hope is in Him. And I think my love of my body and who I am (in Him) just flourished. And my whole outlook on dating, relationships and marriage changed. And I was free from jealousy or the thief of comparison. It's an area that I personally flourish now but, mind you it took numerous years. And I think I was freed of that concern about age - I honestly just feel grateful to be alive.
I just think that we waste so much precious time on trying to change ourselves. When you really truly love yourself and put Him first? And realize He made you to look the way that you do - He crafted you and I mean, He knows every single strand of hair on your head. You can thrive and see life differently - it's a lifting of an unhealthy veil. And it's amazing!
So much of your energy and focus is freed up when you love yourself and your confidence is healthy. Your focus turns to what is best for you - who is best for you - travel - laughing - serving others with your entire heart. And you feel this joy! You can finally be present to look out in the world with so much inner love.
Why not just try it.
Created and curated by Kelly, Snapshots of Wellness encourages all of you to cultivate your 'joie de vivre': Compassion for Animals via food, style & lifestyle.