I love this article by Donald Miller (I just appreciate him in general)!!!
I have known a few bullies during my childhood and several as an adult. I have also known people with major control issues. And sometimes I didn't even realize they were controlling until a lot of time has past. We all have challenges but I really think Donald Miller's advice is spot on. I think you can tell a controlling person very obviously but sometimes they are subtle. I can always tell a controlling person by their reaction when I don't take their advice. They do not like that (to say the least). And they are the least likely to take advice themselves. Anyway, I am taking his advice below and I hope it helps you too! Wellness in relationships is critical.
The Best Thing You Can Do When Someone Tries to Control You
By Donald Miller
We all have to face them from time to time. Even as adults, bullies stumble across our paths. They’re loud, obnoxious, make shocking statements and have no perception of social boundaries. Bullies must have the world their way, and if you don’t see the world their way, they see you as an enemy.
Bullies love to entangle you in their world. Bullies get validation one of two ways.
The best thing you can do with a bully is to completely ignore them. They’ll use drama and demands to scare you, but don’t worry, if they don’t have any real authority, there’s nothing they can do. Just don’t return the call, text message, dark stare or email. Sooner or later they’ll move on to somebody else.
Nothing will frustrate them more, but if you aren’t making them feel more powerful, they’ll lose interest.
Still, many have to work with bullies or even have them as family members.
What do you do about bullies you simply must interact with?
Here are some tips:
1. Put distance between their demands and your compliance. If at all possible, respond to their dramatic demands with statements like, “I’ll think about that and get back to you.”
Take a couple days before you let them know what you’re going to do.
Honestly ask yourself what you want. Bullies don’t want you to think about yourself, they want you to fear them so you’ll comply to their need for power. Sooner or later, the bully will get tired of your unwillingness to fear them and comply. They’ll move on.
And honestly, they’ll actually respect you.
They won’t like you, but they’ll respect you. Bullies secretly loathe the people who always comply with them.
2. Let it be known they’re hard to work with. Don’t gossip or counter-attack, but if they work on your team, let the leader of the team or your boss know that a member of your team has a bullying personality and it’s affecting morale.
Often, bullies gain power because they get so much done for a company, but there is always a downside: Morale sinks, people hate coming to work and so on.
If your boss never knows about the bullies downside, they won’t count the cost.
If you politely and appropriately let them know, sooner or later they’ll have to consider letting the bully go.
3. Don’t Counter-Attack. Bullies are born for war. They secretly believe people are out to get them and have likely felt that way since childhood. In other words, they’ve spent a lifetime scheming ways to control everybody around them so they won’t get hurt again.
You, on the other hand, haven’t spent much time at all wondering how to control people. Who do you think is going to win that fight?
So don’t fight with them. When having a conversation about a famous bully-pastor we both know, my friend Chris Seay recommended walking away from him. If you wrestle with the pigs, you both get dirty.
So let’s not counter attack.
In summary: Avoid them if you can. Ignore them if you must and don’t feel bad about it.
Place time between their demands and your personal decision as to whether you want to comply. As much time as possible.
Let it be known to the appropriate authorities that you don’t like working with them.
Don’t gossip. Be respectful.
Don’t counter-attack. You’ll lose. You aren’t wired the way they are. Just ignore them and be happy.
Sorry you’re dealing with a bully. Make wise decisions and don’t stoop to their level. You’re likely to come out better for the experience.
What do you need to let go of?
What helps me let go in life and move forward into uncertainty is God's Truth. And His Truth comes to me in The Word, song lyrics, quotes, melodies, wise counsel, a whisper into my soul, my trusted community's love, an idea in my mind after prayer & sometimes an experience I have had while traveling.
Today, I thought I would share several profound quotes that have impacted my life in 2015. And these quotes combined are a glimpse into my own story of letting go.
These quotes are from a combination of my absolute favorite authors who have aided in the current transformation of my life. I hope they stir your heart. Please share with me a glimpse into your stories of letting go - i.e. share anything from quotes, books, music, verses, etc.
I know this may sound a little too 'hokey' (I don't even know if that is a word) or 'out there' for some of you but eating healthy is really about self love. You have all heard me talk about this so many times if you are a regular reader of SW.
When you start loving yourself and your body (as we all should), you DESIRE to eat the best organic healthy foods to nourish yourself. You WANT to feel energetic and thrive. And food is fuel. You don't really hesitate anymore between food from the earth and boxed processed options.
I think we have all heard some variation of the quote "Every single time you are taking a bite of food or drink, you are either fueling disease or fighting it'. This is a 'FACT'. It's not just some catchy tagline.
Food controls people. Literally. People spend their entire lives trying to lose weight and cannot resist the temptation of pizza, donuts, processed junk, etc.. And they give in to this 'Nope, I just have NO control, I have to eat the greasy food, I love it'.
And looking back on my own wellness evolution, it's eerie to me what the food industry has done and continues to do to create the addictions. And let me be clear, many people think of food addiction as someone that is anorexic, bullemic, etc. No, no, I am talking about you - the one who wakes up today and has to have the two donuts instead of a healthy option. I am talking about the majority of society.
Once you get educated though (and you can do that for free by just using google) and you start really examining self love, light bulbs start flashing.
I know people who are spending their lives longing for - in a very emotionally deep way - to be a healthy weight yet they are making the choices to stay where they are. It's a shame but food being addictive is very real. Processed food was MADE to be addictive. It's a business.
I mean, don't you find it kind of fascinating that food is actually 'addictive'? Sugary processed food is AS ADDICTIVE as in crack cocaine, heroin.....actual sugar IS MORE addictive then both which is proven clinically. Wow! It's wild. Isn't that troublesome to you? Why wouldn't you be motivated to set yourself free from anything that was addicting?
I actually find the whole psychology of processed food being addictive.....just riveting..
This book - Breaking The Food Seduction by Dr. Neal Bernard - in my opinion, is a must read! It's astounding via the clinical backing of sugar addiction. He dives into the biochemistry of the body. And yes, I believe he is vegan but the reason I am recommending it is because of the clinical notes in the book. So, if you are not vegan, don't let that deter you.
And I feel that the most well versed article on this topic that I am going to ask all of you to please please read (yes, double please) is by Dr. Mark Hyman called 'Food Addiction: Could it Explain Why 70% of Americans are Fat'?
Love your body. Know you are worth loving.
“The brain chemistry that drives the addict to seek pleasure beyond the point of satiety is similar, whether the user favours Jack Daniels or Jack-in-the-Box.”
― Vera Tarman, Food Junkies: The Truth about Food Addiction
I think while the debates continue over whether it's best to 'juice' vs. eat your greens, you should just get organic greens into your daily diet any way that you wanna!
When I strive to eat organic greens morning, noon & night every day, I feel a lot better!
It seems getting more organic greens into your diet for a healthy body is something we can ALL agree on!
Once you really begin consuming more and more whole foods from the earth, processed sugary foods don't taste much like food at all.
I think we all intuitively know what is best for our bodies. Our bodies speak to us every single day!
Please head over to MindBodyGreen to read my article 'Listen to Your Body Talk'.
Enjoy the weekend ahead & listen to that body of yours (0;
I've avoided writing this article despite it being 'top of mind' for years. I also don't feel I even know how to put this together. So, I sit here and stumble because I am sickened by the health care system. Now there's a pun.
People across the country - millions of people - losing their life savings over trying to get well. People are having to visit with 30+ doctors just to get an answer. People are having to see 5 Specialties to put their ill health puzzle together. People are finding more answers on the internet - through other patients that have healed of various illnesses - then they are through physicians themselves.
Patients that are dying of Lyme Disease (example) are being dismissed by hospitals and physicians and told to 'head on over to a psychiatrist'. These folks spend YEARS dying!!!!!!!!! And some do die. People that are debilitated from POTS Syndrome are told 'Just drink more water' and you will be fine' as they faint daily & cannot work. I know CEO's, pharmacists, lawyers, parents, children, etc. - all amazing people - who are stuck in beds at home taking pills because they haven't a clue how to get better. It's maddening. People are being given toxic medications that are diabetic when all they needed direction in was a change of diet. People are being treated with 2 meds + 10 supplements for IBS who actually had a parasite. People who are told they have 'emotional problems' when they were low grade hypothyroid the entire time. ARRRHHHHHH - I scream out 'STOP"!!!!!!!!!!
It seems the majority of us know at this day & age that Western Medicine is fabulous at diagnostic testing but terrible at 'healing'. Why? Well, Western Medicine physicians are trained to treat symptoms. They are literally trained in medical school, residency and potential fellowships how to mask symptoms with medication. We know this. So, we need to stop expecting so much more from them.
So, then came the mass surge of Functional Medicine - Integrative Medicine - Naturopathic Medicine - etc. And most patients (not all - most) are in the right 'arena' for finding their cause & healing but, the cost is astronomical.
I know people who have lost their life savings over trying to get well through holistic medicine. How do I know? I am one of them. And I know plenty more - I know hundreds.
Isn't that ironic?!?! 'Here, patient, I have your answer to heal but it will be $2,000.00 out of pocket for the testing, several hundred dollars for supplements per month and yes, it's $300.00 just for me to sit down with you for 45 minutes to share this news with you'. This is Functional Medicine. It can be effective but this is what you are walking into.
The majority of people cannot afford this so, they walk into their demise - aka a Western Medicine physicians office and they fill the prescriptions to mask symptoms. And they go their entire lives ill.
So, what do we do? What do the people suffering from the growing number of viruses, infections, etc. do?
We throw on our business hats. WE become the CEO of our health. Fair? No. Reality? Yes.
We thoroughly interview a physician before giving him or her a dime. We consult with their staff. We do our research FIRST. The physician won't consult with you free first? You take a pass. Next.
It's CRITICALLY important for people to realize that YOU are in charge of your health - YOU - not your doctor. And b/c YOU are in charge of your health, YOU decide who is going to work for YOU and who is going to be on your team.
Your physician is working for you. You are hiring them to be on your team to aid you in getting to the core of your ill health.
My advice (I am not a physician - just a gal on the internet so, take my advice with as much caution as you feel led to) is this: When you are interviewing a physician to possibly be on your team, focus on FUNCTIONALITY vs. how 'nice' the physician is -how glossy his or her website is or how promising the physician's protocols 'seem'.
When you are talking to the physician, let your focus be functionality. For example, 'Dr., if I decided to move forward with your medical protocol, what is my expectant increase in functionality per month"? Functionality is where your focus should be and of course, getting to the cause.
Patients tend to get caught up in the relief of finding a 'nice doctor'. I can careless if a physician is 'nice' or not. All I care about is 1). How invested in my care is this doctor going to be, 2). What is this doctor's approach to aid in increasing my daily functionality, 3). How knowledgeable is he or she on the particular illness I am presenting with, 4). Is he or she willing to experiment with approaches that I -the patient - think might work? Gosh this last point is so critical! If you have a 'hunch' via healing, you need a doctor who is willing to treat 'outside of the box'.
It's OK to fire your physician if after a specific amount of time (that's up to you), your functionality is not increasing.
If your doctor says 'NO" to trying a medical protocol that you have researched & you are certain might work, go to another doctor.
It is OK to challenge your physician on any medical protocol, research, clinical perspective that you would like.
It's OK to say 'NO" to whatever is not sitting well with you.
Here is the thing. You have to have a plan before you even choose a doctor. You have to plan out your approach to choosing one. You have to plan your questions prior to meeting with him or her. You have to have a plan every single step of the way.
Having a plan will require you to be assertive - determined - resolute - and organized.
We are living in a world where the majority of people are ill. It's astounding. And we are living in world where the food industry, media and well, I won't even go down this rabbit hole b/c it's another post entirely.
Bottom line, we are living in a world where we are being sold lies about health. We live in a world with governmental organizations & other conglomerates goals are to keep us sick. We are living in a dirty greedy world among MANY (not all) physicians both in Western Medicine & Holistic Health. It's gross. It feels criminal.
And we are sadly living in a world where it is so hard - absolute maddening - to find answers & heal.
With that being said, if you have any chronic compilation of symptoms, you CAN heal.
And you deserve someone to be honest with you:
It's going to be beyond hard. It's going to feel like you are not going to make it through the number of obstacles you will face. And you are going to maybe want to give up at times but don't. Don't do that. Keep jumping through hurdles. When one protocol doesn't work - try another. Prepare your mind that this might take long. Get creative financially b/c you are going to lose a lot of money. Do what you have to do to get in front of the right physicians. And when you are so exhausted that you don't feel you can do any more? Call on God's strength and do more. Keep at it.
Keep peeling the onion - the layers upon layers of illness - until you heal.
Healing is a battlefield that comes with a price. And it'll most likely be the most difficult road you walk down in your life. And you will not walk out unscathed.
Yes, these are hard truths for you today but 'truths' that those of you suffering out there already know but maybe needed to hear.
So, gear up. Put on your business hat. Do the excruciatingly hard work that isn't fair but necessary. Choose a physician team wisely. And do what it takes to get better. Do every single thing it takes to get better. And when others give up on you (friends, doctors, associates), keep your eyes on your goal of healing and not on the passerby's.
You will become a warrior when you reach full healing. You will have survived much more then illness. You will have survived the medical system.
Those of you who have made it through are the unsung heroes of our day.
Optimal Health & Disease Prevention BEGINS in the GUT! We should be thoroughly educated on Gut Health whether you are chronically ill, blessed with vibrant health or somewhere in between. And yet the gut is kinda sorta forgotten about which is mind blowing.
Included below are - in my opinion - your best resources to brush up on your gut:
Dr. Mercola & this particular article of his:
Neurologist Speaks Out About the Importance of Gut Health for Prevention and Treatment of “Incurable” Neurological Disorders
Dr Amy Myer's article 'Love Your Gut, Heal Your Gut, Heal Yourself.
Dr. Josh Axe's article '7 Signs You Have Leaky Gut'.
These three articles above are enough to fully educate you on the critical importance of having a healthy gut which will lead to a healthy body. These three articles are enough to at least get you started in shedding light on where you might want to consider starting on your own healing journey.
A reader of SW wrote in to me recently and complained that I am not writing my own articles on health. And I think this is a really good time to address her complaint.
I am not an expert on health or healing. And there are particular physicians, nutritionists, scientists & folks that are experts in their field and fueling healing in their patients.
I am a seeker of healing. I am a medical researcher. And I also happen to be exposed and personally know some of the absolute 'best of the best' Functional Medicine & holistic physicians in the country. So, my role here at SW is to point you directly to them. I want you to be able to soak up their clinical knowledge as I am doing myself.
And then follow your own gut instinct on how to proceed down your healing path. I know, a pun.....I had to.
My only personal advice to all of you regarding healing is that you include an Integrative Physician and/or Functional Medicine/Naturopath on your team. I also advise that you take 'medical advice' from those who are licensed to give it coupled with those who have made it through their own healing. It's so helpful and often fascinating to hear what worked and what did not for those who have made it out of the dark days of illness.
And it's all as simple and as complex as that (0:
I am actually REALLY excited about this blog post today! I am providing you with a quick but stellar rundown of the 'best of the best' opportunities in wellness, fun & health that are being offered the remainder of the year in Chicago!
This post kind of reminds me of the emails that I get from Windy City Blogger Collective! One of the Founders, Kit Graham, sends all members a weekly email of really amazing opportunities/events to attend in the city that week. Speaking of WCBC, if you are a blogger, writer or content creator, becoming a member is worthwhile (beyond)!
The following is a wide variety of wellness related events in Chicago that hopefully get you as excited as they have gotten me!
1. Dr. Mercola Anniversary Health Webinar, August, 23-August 25th - Dr. Mercola is celebrating his 18 Year Anniversary as the leading Natural Health website in the entire country for the past 10 years! This is seriously a health 'gift' to you. If you want to get educated on health, you can attend this at no cost and get a health education that would typically cost you hundreds of dollars or more w/ multiple physicians. Again, this is a gift to you. He is hosting a FREE webinar for all subscribers. 'To commemorate these 18 years together, we've put together an anniversary lineup of never-before-seen content, education, live webinars, free giveaways, and fun!
2. The BeHealthful Retreat, September 27th - This is a one day - all day - transformative wellness summit where you will listen to panels of health experts on various topics, practice yoga with the best instructors in Chicago, get facials & massages, be educated on supplements and holistic nutritional products, meet holistic physicians, etc. Sarah Baker, the Curator of The BeHealthful Retreat keeps upping the anty on wellness/health education for attendees! It's my favorite wellness event of the year!
3. Storyline Conference, November 5-7 - I am sharing this LIFE CHANGING opportunity now for those of you who need to budget to attend! What IS the Storyline Conference?
At Storyline, we believe people who live clear, meaningful lives have the greatest influence on culture.
When you attend The Storyline Conference you’ll be inspired, gain clarity and leave with a life plan. Our story based process has lead thousands to discover lasting change and a life of meaning. On top of it all, you’ll hear from a lineup of world renowned speakers share their incredible stories of how they see life differently.
The conference only happens once a year, so don’t miss your chance to join our community of like minded people just crazy enough to ask themselves, “What would the world miss if I don’t tell my story?”
***The Storyline Conference is created by Donald Miller - who is aiding me in transforming my own life and as of right now, the most highly influential author and content creator, in my personal life. I didn't see the changes that are happening in my life coming but they are all a result of his mentor-ship.
Donald Miller is a student of story. He's the author of New York Times Best Sellers: Blue Like Jazz, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and Scary Close. He's the president and founder of StoryBrand.com.
4. Food Tank is offering multiple dates for online webinars, workshops and various events for you to learn more about sustainability, the economics of ecosystems, biodiversity for agriculture, the state of the organic industry, the global food crisis, etc. Get educated on the world you live in and how you can be of service - absolutely incredible opportunities for you via education and participation in helping our environment!
And finally, some fun in sun opportunities that are a MUST to wrap up your summer in Chicago!!!!
FREE concerts on the 'revamped' Riverwalk in Chicago every weekend & Wed. evening! It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! And a serious 'must do at least once' with community in Chicago. And if you don't have community, go solo as there are so many friendly people hanging out that you can mingle with!
Sign up for a 'Fireworks Paddle' kayake adventure through the city!!!! Breathtaking! Some athletic ability is required as it's a 6 mile round trip - memorable and fun!
And if you don't have a bike, just rent a DIVVY, it's cheap! Head to the lake - get outdoors and soak in every last bit of summer. I remain convinced that there is no better place to spend an entire summer then Chicago with tons of community!
Enjoy folks! If you know of any fab wellness opportunities in Chicago, please share them with me via any of my social media handles!
Medical Disclaimer: I am not a physician. Please take any information you find on Snapshots of Wellness to your own medical provider to follow their professional advice.
This particular blog is for those with complicated chronic illnesses. This is written for those of you who are in the thick of the battle and searching for answers to heal whatever disease or syndrome you have been diagnosed with.
What I have found through five years of extensive personal experience and clinical research is that there is a definite pattern via the healing path for hundreds of people I have personally interacted with and I've come to know. Mind you, these are people I know personally - I have spoken with - some are dear friends -others are respected acquaintances. All with one thing in common: They have all healed. They have all lost thousands upon thousands of dollars walking through the maze of healing. And they are all thriving. Healing IS possible even after 7 to 10 years! Don't you give up.
So, as far as I am concerned, along w/ a handful of just brilliant physicians, these folks are the best in their field (the field of healing that is) for testing, educational resources and pointing all of you in the right direction.
The pattern in all of these 'once ill patients' is an initial health crisis disrupts their lives followed by a lengthy dismissal of numerous physicians despite the inability to function - often for years. And then the long expensive journey of people having to 'be their own physician' takes place. This is a pricey & exhaustive endeavor of hunting for various physician specialties, medication/supplement trial and error, etc.. This generally leads to a change in diet and treatment of the endocrine system by a Functional Medicine, Integrative Physician or Naturopath along w/ the rest of their medical 'team' which is typically anywhere from 5 to 6 physicians. And puzzle piece after puzzle piece is placed into each individual's complicated health picture as they peel back layers of discovery.
Those that have reached full healing, have gotten to the core issue and it is (just in the cases that I am familiar with) always -100% of the time - a conglomerate of underlying multiple infections buried beneath the gut and elsewhere. . It is astounding how many answers are found in attacking the infections - co-infections - biofilms - etc. And it's even more astounding how complex the healing process is for each individual.
Many of us - many - have walked a traumatic road of healing with discoveries & answers that we wish we would have had from the beginning.
Another commonality among every one of these patients (including myself) is that we pretty much started from the outside of the 'healing ring' (made up term of mine) and worked inward to find the 'cause'. This is the basis of Functional Medicine actually.
With the information I am going to provide you, you can bypass so many unnecessary pitfalls and start with the best testing and absolute most clinically sound resources. I am essentially giving you a shortcut to what could be hours on the web....lost in an abyss of 'How in the world will I get well'?!?!
If I could go back to my own health crisis, I would have personally started with these resources below. What is ironic is that in any chronic illness, we should (again, refer to the Medical Disclaimer as this is simply my opinion) all start 'below the gut' & 'in the gut' with infections. As Doug - friend of the author of 'Public Health Alert' said absolutely perfectly and it stuck with me ""While other people went on to investigate other health problems, I just kept chasing the infections, and I got well."
Alright, let's get to sharing these resources - I will only share three to get you started. And if you get overwhelmed in reading, know that is normal. It's overwhelming but take it slow and set aside considerable time to really educate yourself: Getting to the underlying infections can shave YEARS off of your healing path:
First Resource: JC-Squared: Justin & Christa Vanderham
My friend Christa Vanderham suffered indescribably & traumatically for years from a host of Lyme, infections, co-infections & biotoxin illness(s). You can watch her story here. Christa & her husband, Justin did an amazing job of providing the best resources for testing for various infections as well as an explanation of Biofilms, Biotoxin Illness, Lyme, Bartonella, etc.
Second Resource: Public Health Alert
Specially read this article. When you are done, re-read it again and again until it sinks in. Know this information prior to stepping into any Functional Medicine physician's office. While some holistic physicians are absolutely amazing and I believe, must be on your team, there are so many that will absolutely financially rob you - sending you down a path of healing that doesn't lead to healing at all. Be wise and BE EDUCATED! The education is being provided for you.
Third Resource: Fry Laboratories
Read every piece of information you can to fully understand biofilms and why it's critical to 'break through the biofilms' to heal. Fry Laboratories which Christa Vanderham referenced above is your best resource. Go here to read.
I know this is a lot of information to take in. Take some deep breathes, purchase a journal and start taking notes. Slowly but surely you will start fitting your own puzzle pieces together.
If you have questions, please contact me at any of my social media outlets provided at the top right hand of Snapshots of Wellness.
You can make it there - you really can fully recover. I know it's painful and you might wonder how you are still enduring it all but, keep persevering, leaning on Him and staying focused on the end goal. And you - will - make - it.
This week on Snapshots of Wellness, I am going to be sharing with all of you everything that I have learned about gut health! There was so much to learn that frankly, it was overwhelming but the education has been invaluable.
I will be primarily pointing you to the resources, articles & physicians that - after extensive research - have the most in depth knowledge on how to heal the gut'. I am going to point you towards the actual experts - those that we should all be at least considering taking advice from.
We are also going to be talking about some of underlying causes of chronic illnesses that you may not even be familiar with! We are going to discuss the microbiome, how to break through biofilms in the body that are holding infections hostage and finally, parasites (ewwww, I know).
My goal this week is to share enough medical insight in order to point you in the right direction towards healing. I will provide you with quality resources in hopes to save you money & time as you travel along your own wellness journey.
So tune in Wed.-Fri. for this educational series on the gut!
I knew of a few benefits of Spirulina but I had NO IDEA OF the following 13!!!
I'd like to introduce the author - Garrick Dee - to Snapshots of Wellness readers. He wrote this incredibly well informed article about the benefits of Spirulina.
Yes, you'll have to go to his site to read because trust me, this is the most resourceful article about Spirulina on the web & worth your time! I am impressed with both the article & Spirulina!
Also, enjoy Garrick's overall site - Juicing w/ G - which will provide you with all of the in's & outs of juicing! Super informative & insightful, Juicing w/ G is the ideal site if you are a beginner at juicing or an ole pro!
Enjoy the education and continue to get informed about what is best for your health!
Hey everyone! The weekend begins today for Chicago! The Air & Water Show will take over the entire lakefront & the Blue Angels are practicing overhead today! I love how loud the roars of the planes get throughout the entire weekend. There are rooftop gatherings everywhere in the city and bands playing in what feels like every neighborhood. It's the epitome of summer.
Today, I just wanted to inform you of an amazing article about Spirulina which you can learn more about if you scroll down or you can just go HERE.
Also, I wanted to share with you this absolute gem of a site - Public Health Alert - about treating the underlying causes of chronic illnesses. I cannot believe I have not seen this site prior to last week! I wish I had the education that this particular site provides, years ago. Seriously, it's invaluable! I actually think this site should be in the hands of all physicians and every patient - everyone. And don't get caught up in the illness 'Lyme' if you don't have it, just dive into the data - you'll start putting it together.
I personally feel between Public Health Alert - Stop The Thyroid Madness - & Dr. Amy Myers - everyone can piece together their health puzzle. Well, throw in Josh Axe's site to. I am telling you, these are your combined resources to get well no matter what chronic illness you have. Remove the 'name' of your said illness and focus on the body as a whole. It's a matter of piecing it all together.
And no, I am not a doctor - just a gal who has done her research. You absolutely have to be thoroughly educated on healing & health these days. You cannot rely on your physicians to 'take control' of your health. It's our responsibility to be entirely informed about our bodies and how to get well. I know some people don't want that responsibility but it is in fact yours. Own it. And walk into your physician offices informed.
A couple of months ago, I was having a conversation w/ my ex-boyfriend and told him that I was motivated to write an article about our breakup. I shared with him that everything I was reading on the web is either a message of 'how to' either get your 'ex' back or move on in variations of a 'teachable systematic approach'. People are actually 'selling' approaches on the web. You have all seen them! 'No Contact for 30 Days' and do x,y,z and that will 'reel him back in' or 'Take these '5' steps and you will be over him for good'. If you haven't seen any of these articles, e-books or 'programs', head over to Google and type in anything referring to breaking up...and you'll see hundreds - if not thousands - of them.
We are a society that is SO deeply uncomfortable with pain, that when we encounter it, we run or mask it in destructive ways which lead to destructive life patterns that many continue into their grave.
I have a whole other philosophy entirely that you haven't heard...at least I know it's not written on the internet until today.
So, first a bit of back story. The name of the 'ex' that I am referring to has been changed to respect his privacy but the story is true. And while this is being shared from my perspective, I am glad that he agreed writing this was a good idea. My hope is that this article helps others weather the stormy seas of heartache with a fresh Godly lens.
David & I connected rather quickly on an emotional level prior to meeting in person. We lived in different cities and met on a dating site. Our conversations grew longer as we grew more intrigued. And we agreed meeting in person was a natural next step.
When we met in person, the physical attraction was as magnetic as the soul connection. This connection deepened and matured into love. Together, we weathered a lot of surprising and unfortunate obstacles with my health amongst other things. And we remained committed to growing together.
Although the relationship did not work out, the key is that we both exposed our heart to the other. We both leaped into love in a very real way rather than a ''storybook' way. I mean, we were scared & initially hesitant while playing tug-of-war with each of our own vulnerabilities. We loved deeply. And we both inevitably got hurt in the process. There is no true love without true risk.
We broke up face to face .....with grace. There were tears (mine) but along w/ the pain was encouragement and a deep mutual caring for the other. For me, it was the most respectful and loving ending to a relationship that I have ever had. I remain proud of both of us for stepping into kindness and not giving in to resentment or bitterness.
With that being said, the days and weeks to follow were extremely difficult. This time - the days right after a breakup - are so difficult for all of us who have experienced love and loss. Let's not kid ourselves, it's the absolute worst. And nothing seems to make it better.
We learn the most through love. Sure, we learn a lot through friendships and a variety of life experiences but it is love where we are stripped bare.
So, what is the magic formula to reaching breakthrough after heartache? There isn't one. Surprise!
It's a slow & painful process of making one wise & healthy decision at a time as you come up for air.
The majority of us fall into this abyss of self loathing that surfaces in eating processed junk for a week or more (guilty) and just being so hard on ourselves. We contemplate 'If I would have not done 'this', would we still be together'? We clothe ourselves with guilt, shame and some even reach a point of self hatred. I never got to that point but I definitely took a dive into guilt for awhile and man, that's an unhealthy place to swim in.
Some turn to alcohol, others jump into rebound relationships, eat themselves into exhaustion, etc. We want to escape the pain but what we don't realize is that through facing the pain head on - walking through it - transformation starts to happen little by little.
What I have learned that is ultimately leading to breakthrough after breakthrough in my wellness journey is that kindness, self love and relying on God is the only way through the mending of ones heart. Anything else, is a path towards self destruction.
What does self love even look like? Do you know? Seriously, do you know how to truly love yourself? Great if you do.... cheers....but are you doing it? How can any of us really expect someone to love us well if we don't know how to love ourselves well? We can't.
Self love is caring for oneself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically all of the time....not 'just once in a while'. Self love is loving yourself as God loves you. Ultimately, you must understand God's love for you first because that is where your true identity is found. And we do this by reading His Word, talking to Him daily, building rapport with Him and allowing Him into every single area of your life. And we do this by believing Him. We trust Him. We listen to Him. We take our fears to Him and delve into who we are - in His eyes.
We need to take control of our thoughts and focus on what God tells us to. 'Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things' - Phillippians 4:8.
I think it's safe to say that warm fuzzy thoughts aren't running through our minds after a breakup and we somehow forget that our thoughts are our responsibility. Our thoughts lead to words and actions of our choice. And there in lies our breakthrough or demise.
We need to reach for organic healthy foods from the earth during heartache and otherwise. Distress severely runs your immune system down & when most of us are weary or teary for that matter, we - on autopilot - order pizza and eat sugary comfort foods/desserts. Right? We do this. Why? Explore that. It's not love.
It's wild that it takes us a lifetime to learn how to truly love ourselves and then years to actually do it....to make the healthy choices every single day. Love is a verb. Love must be taken into action. Most understand the 'concept' but don't know how to actually put it into practice. And the saying 'You cannot truly love another until you love yourself', is actually true.
How else can you show yourself love?
Exercise.....we know that movement benefits us emotionally & mentally as much as it does spiritually. Get outdoors daily and move your body - you WILL feel better.
And go to God - cry out to Him - tell Him every single emotion that you are feeling. He will provide comfort and shed clarity on your circumstances. I promise He will.
Seek out wise counsel in whatever form that works for you. Face the hard truths while handling yourself with grace. What was your role in the break-up? Why did you attract this person in the first place? Dive into self exploration and figure out what needs to be dealt with realizing that this all takes time. Do all of this before you jump into another relationship.
I have learned all of these lessons the hard way until I started to explore 'Why is making loving choices -through pain- so hard? It's because I didn't want be in pain at all -who does! I wanted to avoid the struggle, And you can't.
I had to embrace it 'while' making healthy choices.
Once you really start loving yourself through healthy choices, you will literally see all of this from an entirely different lens....one you have not seen through before.
So, I started making healthy decisions each and every day - one meal at a time - one conversation at a time - one decision at a time - one step at a time allowing God to take over & show me how He was going to mend my heart, And He has come through in such unique & creative ways that I am thrilled.
What about all of this advice we are all exposed to on the internet? The ''No Contact for 30 Days', 'Never speak to him or her again', 'Only call after 3 months', on and on.
I see manipulation, passive aggressiveness and unhealthy solutions when I read all of that advice. None of this advice involves healthy self love. It involves strategies and tactics to 'make something happen' and frankly, it's why these 'programs' don't work.
Should you and your ex speak again? If you two feel led to, yes. If not, no. Should you get back together? Should you not? Use wisdom and discernment. God has given you both.
When my ex and I spoke after the break-up (we spoke several times), we were both completely honest about our feelings and where we each were at via healing. And there was not one conversation through the guise of a 'mask'. In other words, there was no pretending we were each 'doing amazing'. We were both at different phases of mending our hearts but we both were in pain. And being 'real' about it further aids in 'authentic healing'. Was it easy to talk? No, not for me. Was it a choice we were both comfortable with? Yes.
In order to really embark on a 'wellness' journey, one needs to fully understand the depths of what 'healthy' means - what 'self love' means - and who God is. And then we need to put all of this into action every single day of our lives. And putting it all into action during heartbreak is really really hard.
In closing, I want to give this really amazing analogy that I just love so much.
Have you ever been caught in an undertow? You know, you are playing in the ocean and all of a sudden, an undertow grabs hold of your ankles and next thing you know, you are flailing underneath the surface of the water - doing somersaults - being dragged in every direction. And what do people do in these circumstances? They panic. They freak out. They fight against the undertow. And many drown.
I was told that if I am ever in an undertow, that I should relax all of my limbs and just loosen my entire body. I should literally embrace the undertow and while it would seem counter-intuitive and scary, the undertow would eventually bring me back to the surface of the ocean.
And I never forgot that advice. So, about a year after being given that advice, I was swimming in Kauai, Hawaii w/ co-workers & low and behold, I was caught in a nasty undertow. And initially, I panicked but I remembered that advice. I relaxed into it even though I was scared and it spit me out back onto the surface of the water. There were a few moments though where I didn't feel like the advice was working because it was dragging me down further. I went w/ it though and it brought me out.
How do we apply this to going through a breakup? We allow all of the waves of emotions to take place while making healthy decisions during the process. We acknowledge our fear & befriend our pain BUT we don't fight it. We go with it. And yeah, it's this super uncomfortable experience.....man, it's so tough. We eat healthy though - we rest - we exercise - we speak kindly to ourselves while facing hard truths - we lean on healthy friends that know God well - and we come out of the experience having grown.
And we learn to choose love every single day no matter how uncomfortable it seems.
If you are going through heartbreak, my heart goes out to you. You can take this breakup though and allow the experience to lead you to your own breakthroughs. And you can do all of this with a heart filled with deep love & strengthened faith in Him. And you can do this by accepting the pain too.
I have come through my own breakup with so much gratitude for David & my experience together. Our relationship has led to pivotal breakthroughs in my life about Godly love. And the process of getting here was so messy. Life is just messy and so is love. And yet every breakthrough has led to healthier and wiser daily choices.
I can finally look over my shoulder. back to that chapter of my story with a really big smile. And then focus on the here and now, relishing what God has taught me and what He has in store right in front of me.
“We are here to heal, not harm. We are here to love, not hate. We are here to create, not destroy.” — Anthony Douglas
The following article is shared directly by Dr. Josh Axe and you are getting this health education for 'free'. Trust me, this is a gift.
Eating any (or all) of these four foods can cause you to store body fat• Throw off your hormones• Negatively impact your digestive tract• Ruin your weight loss efforts!
If you’re going to the gym, working out, and doing everything you think you should but still aren’t losing the weight or getting lean like you think you should, there’s a reason...It’s because you’re consuming some (or all) of these death foods, and you may not even realize it! They’re hidden everywhere.
These foods are destroying your metabolism and killing your weight loss efforts. Read on to find out what they are and how you can replace them with healthy alternatives.
Death Food #1: Whole Grains:
Breads, White and Whole Grain• Oatmeals, Pastas, Cereals, Carbohydrates, etc.
The USDA has told us for years that we need more grains and whole grains in our diet but here’s the truth: We’re consuming way too many carbohydrates, and when you stack whole grains on top of sugar on top of more carbohydrates, your body will begin to store sugar as body fat.
Extra carbohydrates are the No. 1 problem that is wrecking and ruining your weight loss efforts. Remove whole grains from your diet for 2—4 weeks. After 2—4 weeks, you can begin to add healthy sources of grains back into your diet.
Two Healthy Sources of Grains are sweet potatoes and rice because they’re gluten-free. If you want to consume bread or grains, make sure they’re sprouted or sourdough — like Ezekiel Bread. But still only in moderation.
It’s simple: To burn fat fast, you’ve got to lower your carbohydrate intake.
Death Food #2: Processed Sugar
The average American consumes anywhere between 70—100 extra teaspoons of sugar per day!
You may be thinking, “There’s no way I consume 70 extra teaspoons of sugar per day. I would have to eat it by the spoonful to reach that amount!”
But here’s the truth: Sugar is hidden all over the place.• “Nutrigrain” bars• Pasta sauces• Breakfast cereals• Complex carbohydrates
Replace sugar with stevia or raw local honey..
Stevia is a no-calorie natural sweetener. Another option is raw local honey, but still consume only in moderation.
Ditch the brown sugar, fructose, agave and maple syrup.
Death Food #3: Canola & Vegetable Oils
These hydrogenated oils and fats are fatally damaging your weight loss efforts.
The No. 1 culprit for these unhealthy oils is fast food. McDonald’s, Burger King, etc., cook their foods in unhealthy trans fats and hydrogenated oils.
Canola oil is genetically modified and also a partially hydrogenated oil. Your body will store this as fat. It’s toxic to your body and can cause your hormones to get out of balance.
Get rid of hydrogenated oils, canola oil and vegetable oils.
These unhealthy oils are hidden everywhere, so look for soybean oil, corn oil, cottonseed oil and canola oil in packaged foods.
Switch to coconut oil or extra virgin olive oil.
Death Food #4: Artificial Sweeteners
The two major culprits here are sucralose, also known as Splenda, and aspartame, also known as Nutri-Sweet.
A recent study found that participants who consumed diet soda gained more weight than those who didn’t.
To lose weight and burn fat, you need to ditch the diet drinks and sodas. In fact, aspartame and sucralose may even be worse for you than sugar.
Switch to stevia or raw local honey, still in moderation.
About Dr. Josh Axe:
Dr. Josh Axe is on a mission to transform the health of millions across America. He has authored three books, is a nationally sought-after speaker and has been a physician for many professional athletes.His podcast is regularly #1 in the iTunes health category. He has created two best-selling fitness DVD’s, BurstFit and Burstfit Fire — mixing intervaland strength training to help people achieve rapid and lasting results. He has created one of the world’s 10 most popular natural health sites and has a dedicated following of over 500,000 loyal monthly subscribers, where he teaches advanced health and nutrition techniques.
Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.
As most of you know (or don't know), I eat an unprocessed diet of whole foods from the earth with very little sugar. Sugar is toxic, laced into over 80% of the foods we eat and well, sugar is not our friend. We know this. People eliminate processed foods and sugar from their diet and their entire world changes.......diseases disappear, various cancers are 'gone', tumors shrink, symptoms evaporate, energy increases...on and on.
So, with my diet change, came a lifestyle change entirely. Through a 'hands on' education from the most educated leaders/ physicians in the wellness movement (Naturopaths, Functional Medicine, Integrative), chefs, authors and dieticians across the U.S. (if you want names, please ask & I will oblige), I feel I have a solid handle on which foods are truly nourishing for our bodies and which are not. And I have finally come to fully understand 'healthy natural sugars' vs. 'unhealthy processed sugars' - we can all talk about that sometime.
With all of that being said, I completely eliminated processed 'desserts' from my diet/lifestyle with the exception of a healthy dark chocolate and an occasional cheat day via a cupcake or ice cream. And giving up desserts was particularly hard for me because I really love baking and found baking to be cathartic.
One day, I was strolling through Whole Foods on Kingsbury in Chicago and this friendly guy was serving up samples of whole food-organic-grain/dairy free banana & chocolate muffins. And this friendly man was Peter Eck, Vice President of Operations at Simple Mills. We introduce ourselves, he begins to share the 'Simple Mills story' with me and I can feel my blood pressure rising b/c I am getting stoked that this company exists!
And then came the taste test.. Clearly, I was sold because I cannot stop talking about their muffins or pancakes.......or cookies. Unreal! SO delicious!
I took Peter's card and began to research (extensively) Simple Mills. And then I contacted him to let them know that I will be sharing their products on my site. It usually works the other way around so yes, I did the pursuing (0:
Click 'HERE' to read all about Simple Mills!
Created and curated by Kelly, Snapshots of Wellness encourages all of you to cultivate your 'joie de vivre': Compassion for Animals via food, style & lifestyle.