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NOURISH - HEAL - SUSTAINABLE LIVING 

The Power of The Other by Dr. Henry Cloud

4/29/2016

 
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The Power of The Other by Dr. Henry Cloud is such a necessary education about the power that others have 'in' our life both in the workplace - in leadership - and at home. And the power we have in theirs. It's a fascinating account about our connections and whether or not we will flourish or flounder in every single relationship in each of our lives. The best part? He gives you a detailed map of what to do about every relationship.

Dr. Cloud breaks this down into four basic relationships that he refers to as Corner 1, 2, 3 & 4. Every single relationship in your life whether that be personal or professional will fall into one of the 4 categories. He simplifies the complexities of relationships just brilliantly. And provides a science supported documentary in writing (that's what it feels like when you read it) of connections.

What I appreciated most about the book was the level of clarity that I had as I learned about each 'Corner Relationship'. I was able to quickly discern which 'corner' each of my relationships fell into and why.
And then Dr. Cloud provides the tools to advance those relationships to the healthiest of the four which is a Corner Four Relationship. You need to read the book to find out what each relationship entails. But he provides every single ingredient and tool to make sure that your relational life is thriving and healthy both in your career and your personal life.

Here is an excerpt about the book that I thought summed it up well:Popular wisdom suggests that we should not allow others to have power over us, but the reality is that they do, for better or for worse. Consider the boss who diminishes you through cutting remarks versus one who challenges you to get better. Or the colleague who always seeks the limelight versus the one who gives you the confidence to finish a difficult project. Or the spouse who is honest and supportive versus the one who resents your success. No matter how talented, intelligent, or experienced, the greatest leaders share one commonality: the power of the others in their lives.

Combining engaging case studies, persuasive findings from cutting-edge brain research, and examples from his consulting practice, Dr. Cloud argues that whether you’re a Navy SEAL or a corporate executive, outstanding performance depends on having the right kind of connections to fuel personal growth and minimize toxic associations and their effects. Presenting a dynamic model of the impact these different kinds of connections produce, Dr. Cloud shows readers how to get more from themselves by drawing on the strength and expertise of others. You don’t have a choice whether or not others have power in your life, but you can choose what kinds of relationships you want.

The Power of The Other launches NEXT WEEK
! What I thought would be impactful for all of the SW Readers is if those of you who purchase the book, we will break down the chapters here on SW....together. And we can create a community forum to discuss it.

Who should buy this book? Everyone. Truly
. While he focuses on leadership in all areas of life, this book is also for the housewife - the student - caregiver - wife - husband  - friend - etc. This book is truly for all of us. And I personally feel that every leader in any organization should be devouring Dr. Cloud's gathered wisdom.

Please head over to his site (links all over this blog), purchase the book and let's meet back here in about a week to discuss!

Chat with you all soon!











INVEST - HEALTH - WELL BEING

4/24/2016

 
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This will easily be my most simplistic blog on health & wellness I have ever written. SO many of you want my views on health and yet I keep giving you referrals to those who are experts to lead you in the right direction.

My thoughts on health & wellness are as follows....

Eat Organic as often as possible. - Stop eating sugar - Get outdoors & in nature as much as you can - Experiment with Whole Organic Foods from the garden or farmers market - Love on yourself and others (remember via the blog below, Love DOES) - Realize your thought life is POWERFUL! Words matter as the mind leads and the body follows - Move your body every single day - Remove every single toxic thing in your life...just like that.....do it overnight with no explanation  - don't look back!  - Travel  - Live Minimally - Less IS More - Strengthen your Immune System with the aid of a Functional Medicine Physician (even if you are healthy, nurture that immunity)  - Hug people and animals often - Believe in yourself - Believe in God's impossible- Have childlike fun - Get off of Facebook, Texting and Social Media and GO SPEND QUALITY TIME with those you love outdoors or by yourself! Go help someone in need. Walk your dog if you have one (with your phone off). More Do. Less Talk. More Quality. Less Quanity. More Greens. Less Packaged Food. Less Caring about what people think. More of what God thinks.

Those are my thoughts on how to live out wellness!

Love Does! by Bob Goff

4/24/2016

 
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I am so inspired lately. I think it's a combination of our weather being beautiful, the healing effects of organic healthy whole foods, conversations with people who live in such a hopeful & joyful way - committed to wellness, a few books I have been reading and really gaining a better education of some organizations that are changing the world.

I was recently able to meet and listen to a lot of wisdom from Bob Goff, Author of Love Does & Founder of Restore International. Bob's heart & life are so whimsical and you can learn about him here.

Bob truly inspires me to go out and 'DO'. He spoke at Rooted Chicago this past weekend and his entire message is very literally that love 'does'. Love doesn't think about it or plan for it or even talk about it - love DOES. He loves others with 'extravagant love'. He encourages us to forget the plan and just jump into whatever we are passionate about it and worry about the plan 'after' you are there. If you want to write a book, start writing....don't worry about how it will get published or how it will come together. If you want to go to South Africa, go. Just go. Choose an organization to go with. If you don't have the money, sell some stuff so you do. If you want to date that girl, ask her out. If you want to be in community, go love on people!  If you want to get healthy, eat organic greens and whole foods from the earth! Don't 'wait' - just DO. He lives this out in such a way that you just sit back and marvel at him. It's contagious - it's simple - it's LOVE.

Overall, Bob's message was one of absolute simplicity - just love others - all the time. Live with whimsy and adventure...now...today.


He brought me back to love.
And he made me realize how complicated we all seem to make everythingggg. We even complicate our relationship with God. We all spend so much time bonding over burdens - dreaming about how we wish life would or could be - and dabbling in a host of other emotions rather than then simply LOVING ourselves  - our lives - our now - and loving one another in such a way that it's 'extravagant'. I am loving that entire idea......extravagant love. Who do you love with extravagant love?  Why are we reserving that kind of love for only a few? Love everyone with extravagance.

So he brought me back to my heart and what God is all about. So grateful for him sharing his love with the world and reminding us of this whimsical adventure called LIFE that we are to be living!


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I'll leave all of you with my top FIVE Bob Goff quotes which really are a way I am committed to living my life!

“Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're-out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups.”
― Bob Goff, Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World

“Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.”
― Bob Goff, Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World

“Being engaged is a way of doing life, a way of living and loving. It's about going to extremes and expressing the bright hope that life offers us, a hope that makes us brave and expels darkness with light. That's what I want my life to be all about - full of abandon, whimsy, and in love.”
― Bob Goff, Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World


“That's what love does - it pursues blindly, unflinchingly, and without end. When you go after something you love, you'll do anything it takes to get it, even if it costs everything.”
― Bob Goff, Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World

“...we need to stop plotting the course and instead just land the plane on our plans to make a difference by getting to the "do" part of faith.”
― Bob Goff,
Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World

So, let's all get off the internet - get off social media - and go love on people!

Top 10 Lessons I Have Learned in the Past Year...

4/20/2016

 
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I have learned a tremendous amount this past year. It's been months & months unlike any other of self discovery. The level of introspection and growth has been frankly astounding....a wild journey of rapid paced change. You know when you are growing & being pruned....it's a messy affair.

And I am standing here  - on the other side of a lot of learning lessons - feeling grounded in Him. I am also admittedly tired from working so hard to get here. It was certainly worth it but, I don't want to paint a picture that I skipped through to this point. It was grueling work.

I wanted to share the 'Top 10' Lessons I have learned this past year. I have learned 100's of lessons yet narrowing this down to a list of ten was rather simple:

1. Talk to God about everything and anything before you talk to anyone else about it.
We often go to our friends with our burdens without even going to God. Going to God first has been life changing for me personally. Since I have given my life to Him, I would include Him but, I used to listen to what those I trust recommend and THEN go to God. And now when I am in the midst of anything I need wise counsel over, I go to Him first. And I sit with Him and then He directs me who to include.

2. Be discerning about who you share your story with
. I used to think that being in community meant putting all aspects of my life 'out there' as that builds intimacy in relationships. As a result, I basically invited people into my life that didn't have the best intentions. I entered into relationships with people that weren't healthy for me and I wasn't healthy for them. And I had to back peddle out of those relationships. I am incredibly discerning about my relationships now more than ever. I go to God first about who I am closest with. I also seek out wise counsel (often). Discernment is critical to healthy relationships. And having healthy discernment has taken me years but, I have arrived. And I must say, I am loving how God designed my inner circle.

3. Don't trust your emotions but do trust energy.
Our emotions are like the wind - they have the potential to change as quickly as I just typed this sentence. Emotions are embedded into our neural pathways in our brains. It's rather fascinating. We can change them by changing our associations but, to rely on them for decision making, reactions or behavior is a no no. Trust me there. What I do trust is energy. I believe we all bring our energy with us into a room. And if I sense an energy that makes me feel uncomfortable, I honor that now right away. I don't 'wait and see'. 

4. Don't let anyone tell you who you are.
I surround myself with people who are really into growth and evolving as individuals. So when I encounter someone who I haven't seen for awhile or someone who just isn't into 'change', I notice they often tell me who I am. For example, I had a woman this past summer tell me 'Well you are a people pleaser' and I just smiled but, quietly to myself I thought 'No, I am not but, I used to be'.  When anyone tells me who I am, I don't correct them but, I don't 'put on' their words anymore. I leave their words to them.

5. My value & worth is found in Christ & Christ alone.
If you allow anything else but HIM to determine your worth, you will never be in the relationships that He wants you to be in. It's one thing to know this and yet another thing entirely to live this out. I am living this out and I so wish I accepted this years ago.

6. We are addicted to our burdens.
And that is Satan's plan...not God's. I have really began to take notice of the types of conversations I enter into with others and myself. I could write a book on this topic alone but, I realize that bonding with others over the joys in life creates much greater intimacy than bonding over our burdens. Philippians 4:8.

7. We must stay ahead of the medical establishment to regain health
. It is worth our time to study everything we can about the microbiome, gut health, sustainability, the state of our water source(s), what foods fuel alkalinity, why sugar is toxic, etc. I decide what is best for my body. I advocate for my health. It's no longer 'trust the doctor, he or she knows best'.  And any concern for what others think about my choices flew out the window this past year.

8. Let go of the past.
Hanging onto the past - reliving the past - allowing the past to define you - revisiting traumas - thinking the best of life is behind us - None of that is true or worth our time...at least not mine. In the Bible, God says do not ponder things of the past or even consider them (Isaiah 43:18). So I finally decided to actually do what God says. This is freeing up a lot of my thought life as well as my communication with others. And my heart feels free to fully give to Him b/c nothing is weighing it down.

9. Healthy boundaries equate to healthy relationships
. Practice, practice, practice + wise counsel has been the best terrain for creating the healthiest boundaries in all areas of my life. If you don't have healthy boundaries or you don't even know how to set boundaries, it's worth seeking out counsel. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. I forget who said that but, I can attest that quote is true.

10. Not everyone that is with you will be there for you
. This was a tough lesson but, so valuable to learn. Hard times reveal true friends. It's a cliche that I can attest to that is true. And I feel oddly and tenderly blessed to have learned this lesson.


I have learned so much more but, these top ten lessons are the ones that have me seeing life through a new lens, doing life forever differently and showing up in life completely transformed in Him.



SW Referrals 

4/19/2016

 
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Spring has sprung in Chicago! And the city is alive once again!

Living in Chicago is one serious gift as there is no place I would rather be all summer long (well. with the exception of Canada where one of my best friend's lives)! I feel like Chicago is one gigantic playground when the sun & warmth come to visit. It's vacation. And it's amazing.

Let's jump into today's blog!

More and more of you are tuning into Snapshots of Wellness for advice via health. And while I appreciate all of you reading the blog, I don't give specific advice on how to heal. But, I do share which experts I go to for my own health & well being!

I highly recommend you do not just take the advice of 'personalities' of the internet about health, diet & healing. What I would recommend is cultivating a team of experts in each category below to get you feeling your best:

I would definitely recommend having one of the following on your team: Integrative Physician, Functional Medicine or Naturopath.

Once you have chosen one of these specialties, I would add a Chiropractor that also specializes in Cranial Sacral work.

From there I would add a Nutritional Health Coach.  And then you can get creative based on what your team finds is the core of your health challenges. For example, adding an Acupuncturist, PT Trainer, etc.,

Just a note that I will not take anyone's advice unless they are certified in their field. I did in the past and it wasn't a good decision. So, I am speaking from my own healing journey.

Here is who I recommend (in no particular order) via health & healing:

Anna Shadid, Integrative Nutritional Health Coach from Gorgeous Gut

Dr. Paul Rubin, Whole Health Chicago

Dr. Cliff. Maurer Whole Health Chicago

Dr. Michael Pontarelli, Windy City Wellness
Dr. Josh Axe
Alice Macintosh, Nutritionist
Nutrition Stripped
MindBodyGreen (MindBodyGreen is overflowing with absolute experts in health & wellness).


Those are my recommendations! And these are the sites & experts that I personally tune into myself.

Happy Healing!

Everything's Changing......

4/18/2016

 
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Everything's changing and I don't feel the same - Keane


Do any of you remember that song? I don't relate to the overall message of the song per say but, this lyric resonates.... 'Everything's changing and I don't feel the same'.  Anyone else?

When you don't feel the same about anything in your life, there is an adjustment period that is critical to 'wade' through. Let's talk about it.

Some people believe we are always changing - continuously evolving but, I disagree. I think - through many seasons - many people stay relatively the same.  I think many of us think we are changing because our communication leads us to believe we are. We convince ourselves of it.  I know b/c I have done it plenty along the way so no judgement.....simply observation. I used to try to talk myself into change or think I could convince others I have changed...with my words. And internally I was so tied in knots because there were seasons I wasn't changing at all.

But change is change. Change is different communication - behaviors - actions - reactions - etc. And I can chat with you today, looking back at my life and see that - overall - I have changed rather drastically. I do not feel the same. I am not showing up the same way as I used to. I don't think the same way. And I don't live my life the same way.

And then........ the entire process takes place again.

I am standing at that starting line again, preparing to train for my next race ahead. It can feel daunting in the moment but, worth it when you cross over to the other side.

I attribute true transformation to both faith & tremendous practice which lead to new habits - a new outlook - new perspective - new everything.

What people don't chat about but, I want to explore with you just for a moment is what happens when you do change.  It can be a strange transition to swim ahead toward the unknown....... when you venture off from pretty much everything you knew.
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 I hope all of you can relate b/c that would signify you are growing as individuals.

You change. Those around you keep relating to you the same way. But you have grown - you've evolved - you have a new way of living life. You cannot relate to many the same way because you don't even think the same way. And those that love you try to tell you who you are. You're growth makes them uncomfortable. They attempt to pull you back because by you changing, it makes them uncomfortable not only in their relationship with you but, in their own life. It's a fact that accompanies change.

You cannot have change without the accompaniment of loss and newness.


Let's use the analogy of food since we all can relate to that:  You & four friends met every week for years to eat processed grub. It was your 'girls or guys night out' and you devour fried foods & wine at the bar week after week...for years. It's what you do with your time together. And you decide that this isn't really serving you anymore. So you replace the alcohol with water w/ lemon & the processed garbage with organic healthy food. This inevitably makes these other four uncomfortable. It's not as fun for any of you b/c you have thrown a curve into the tradition - the habit - the way you all used food & wine to relate to one another. 

Are you following me? In this analogy, they will most likely try to bring you back to that place 'Oh come on Seth, it's one night, just eat the pizza & a few glasses of wine....come on'. And you would rather join others who are committed to a healthy lifestyle. And if you show up to that same get together ordering a salad, they feel uncomfortable.

Now keeping that basic analogy in mind.....

Picture you're entire life changing....not just a social outing with friends. You're entire life. Profound. Drastic. Whiplash.


There is a period where even you want to go backwards because it's comfortable. It's what you know. It's how you relate. It's what you do with your time. It's who you spend your time with.

And we usually do go back....and forth....like a teeter totter (which as you know goes nowhere but up & down) between what we know and 'almost there'. And we can live in the muddy waters of 'almost there & comfort' our entire lives. Don't waste your time doing that anymore. Please. Truly. 

This I know.....

Letting go is certainly not for the faint of heart. But we seem to forget that when we let go, we embrace something NEW. And that NEW 'whatever it is we are embracing' is fruit bearing. It's better for us. It's healthy. And if it proves  not to be.....it's a stepping stone to the next evolution of self.

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I don't know the answers for how get to the other side of 'change' or healing for any of you. So many of you ask me weekly and I wouldn't dare give you a canned response. It's vastly different for each of us.

But for me, the only way through and out the other side is with God.  And focusing on what God says about life - who God says I am - and what God wants me to do each day.  I try - I fail - I dust myself off - I try again - I fail - I succeed - I thrive - I fail - I dust myself off - onward.. And eventually, you look around and realize you actually are standing someplace entirely different....someplace foreign.....someplace new.

I hope you are all tired of being stuck in the same 'loop' of whatever it is you are trying to change. I hope you are so exhausted that you finally leave it behind. Just let go. And you finally move forward.

It's as if people trap themselves in their own cage when the door to the cage is swinging wide open for them to walk through.

So, walk on.

    Author:

    Created and curated by Kelly, Snapshots of Wellness encourages all of you to cultivate your 'joie de vivre': Compassion for Animals via food, style & lifestyle.

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  • Holistic Health
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