Advice from my Father.....

Today, I wanted to pass along some really incredible wisdom that my dad passed along to me.  He passed away in August of 2014. He had a brilliant mind.  He was very human (smile) as he was flawed - as we are all these messy broken people - but he was genuinely brilliant and he did not wear a mask.  My dad was vulnerable and he taught me to be vulnerable. I am so grateful for this.  He loved adventure more than any single person I have ever come into contact with (and I know a lot of adventurous spirits). My dad's zest for life was and remains unmatched.  Whenever I think of him, my energy level rises and my heart feels happy.  Often,  I would meet him for lunch downtown (Chicago) and if I was ever stressed after a long week of work travel or down because of something happening in my life, I would leave the table energized and eager to go do something invigorating.  And it wasn't a rarity to find us laughing so hard that we would be buckled over with tears coming down our faces.  We laughed so much and lived for the now.

He passed along so much profound advice to me but I am only going to share 5 life suggestions today. Sometimes people we love can give us repeated advice and we just don't take it due to our own ingrained thoughts, established patterns, etc.. For someone to really change, it requires something deeply internal and it requires God.  I am fascinated by the process of change in someone (including myself) but I am MOST fascinated when someone just 'changes', just-like-that. I am taking his advice and maybe it will cause some of you to consider your choices in your own life and who knows, maybe you will make a change that will be life giving....even life altering:

1. Fall in love with a soul and not a body.  This topic has been on my mind as of late and I have written a lot about it on my blog. It's befitting & timely to reflect on this advice from my dad.  Fall in love with people but focus on their 'soul'.  We are easily distracted (myself included) by a person's looks, what they do for a living, their style....even by who they say they are.  We get distracted by the shiny stuff! But it's after you get through the layers...the stripped down version of them -and then that person really-appears. And then it's still necessary to uncover the covering to their soul. This takes time sometimes and on a rare occasion, someone's soul is just coming through their pores. My dad said to look past every layer and find out who they are inside. He said if you find a raw soul, you have found love.  A loving & 'responsive' soul has the greatest potential to 'change' where they are required to in life.  And he challenged me to look into my own soul where I need to change and when I feel ready, make the shift.  Lately, I have realized where I need to make changes that will refine my character. Changes that will help me to become more mature emotionally....even spiritually.  He shared that change - when we are ready - will just begin to happen sometimes overnight - other times years- and even other times at first gradually and then quickly.  And I believe that to be true. Sometimes, it takes a great deal of pain and/or hearty desire for change to take place.  But when it does, the transformation is undeniable!!!!!!!!  My dad said that you know someone has really truly made a necessary change when they stop talking about & living out the problem but rather one day, you and those around you just realize that you don't 'do' that bad habit anymore. 
   
2. Doing as much as you can outdoors will properly align your perspective each day. Being outdoors brought my dad a great deal of joy.  It brings me joy too.  He traveled everywhere with his wife and they fell in love with various parts of the country.  Now this may not seem profound advice but it actually is.  Being in nature, soaking up the sun, feeling the wind, cooking with your family & eating crossed legged in the grass, having a picnic in the yard with your kids, lying on a blanket to look up at the stars, letting your kids spend the night in a tent outdoors behind the house, visiting w/ friends on your porch, etc. is pretty liberating. My dad told me that 'life' can be felt simply by walking out our front doors. When we get down or complacent in life, we tend to lye indoors, watching TV, etc. while a long walk along a beach or a run through a park can revitalize your entire spirit.  It's advice that has sustained me through difficult times actually.....even through his death. I could be lying in bed and crying over losing him when his advice would cross my mind.  I could hear him say 'get up and get outdoors'! And when I am lying around too much even now-a-days, I will hear him and I always get up, throw on tennis shoes and go. I always feel better when I come back.
   
3. Pay yourself first. My dad was beyond wise with his finances.  He had a really admirable work ethic that he passed along to my brothers and I. And he always told me to pay myself first.....before paying a bill, buying anything at all or paying anyone else, pay yourself first (meaning put something in your savings account or contribute to an investment).  He was adamant about this even if it was 50.00 to put into savings bi-weekly but each paycheck you get, you pay yourself FIRST.  This advice has been so influential in my life that I really cannot even say enough about it.  
4. Don't limit what is possible with your own thinking.  Gosh, my dad is so right on! We limit what is possible with our own minds.  We limit what is possible for our futures. We limit what is possible in others. 'Oh that person will never change', 'This situation is hopeless', 'I can't ever lose weight', 'He will never forgive me', 'She is never going to change her mind', 'Change takes a very long time', ' I will never heal' etc.  It's ALL a mentality of lack of belief in God's impossible.  So, my dad taught me to look at what is possible which can be anything at all! I think my dad's advice is so linked to my faith.  And I think of all of the limitations that others attached to me along the way and I am so grateful that I didn't believe them.  And I stop myself when I find myself putting limitations on someone else.  God is a God of the IMPOSSIBLE and when someone makes an effort, anything can transform! When I got sick a couple of years ago, SO many people didn't believe in me - SO SO SO many.  And if I would have bought into their own limiting beliefs, I would not be where I am today.  So, do not do this to your own self. If you need to make a change, you can transform in ways that only The Lord can make happen. 
   
5. The answer is still and again, love.  Marry the one with the most kind heart.  The rest can be worked out with a lot of communication, growing as individuals, counseling if necessary or in time. For me, after being divorced and having loved and lost, I am going to finally take my dad's advice.  And of course add on that it's most important to find a man who is in love with Jesus first! People with teachable kind hearts will make it through the peaks and valleys of marriage.....well, they have the best chance....according to my dad.  And he had an amazing marriage. 

What is a piece of advice that someone you love gave to you? Have you ever followed advice that changed the course of your life? Advice that changed a bad habit or pattern....for good?  Please share with me on any of my social media links at the top right of the page.